The other day, I was talking to one of my sisters about an argument I was involved in at a recent family gathering.
I told her that I had totally lost my cool when a relative said something that I disagreed with. The result was a very loud yelling match.
This doesn’t happen often with me, and not in years. I usually suppress my anger and then vent all over my husband when we get home.
Lately, I’ve been venting all over whomever is annoying me.
My sister said that this was not acceptable behavior, unless it was happening because I’m getting older.
“You know how some older people have no filters?” she asked. “They say whatever comes into their heads no matter whom they offend. Maybe that’s happening to you.”
“I’m 53 years old,” I answered. “I’m not even eligible to apply for that license for another 27 years.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she said. “Well, I think you’d better find another way to deal with your temper. Why don’t you buy a mini water pistol and keep it in your purse? Then, when someone makes you angry, you can just whip it out and squirt him or her with water.”
“I imagine that would make the situation even worse,” I said.
“Nah,” she replied. “Do it when nobody’s looking and then deny any knowledge of what happened.”
“Yeah, that’s a great plan,” I said.
“How many handbags do you own?” she asked.
“Four everyday ones and three evening bags,” I said. “Why?”
“I think that you should get one for every bag you have, just so that you’re always prepared,” she answered.
After a good laugh, we moved on to other topics.
Two days later, I received a package. Inside the box were 12 colorful mini water pistols.
My husband asked what I was going to do with a dozen water pistols. I told him my sister’s idea. He shook his head and walked away, never suspecting that I might actually take her suggestion seriously.
I am now faced with an ethical question … would it be wrong …
… to buy five more handbags to accommodate the five extra water pistols?
What an easy question. Your sister OBVIOUSLY wants you to have 5 more bags!
Obviously!
Squirt Everyone, AND buy more handbags! Become known as the weird lady who has lots of hands bags and will squirt you. Obviously!
Thanks for the late-night laugh. And, the answer was obvious all along, just not to me. Thanks for enlightening me!