Patsy Porco

Archive for the ‘Books’ Category

Recommendations for Your Weekend

In Books, Humor, Movies on October 8, 2016 at 5:46 pm

I love to read and there’s never a day that I’m not in the midst of reading a book. Except today. But that’s because I was up until 6 a.m. finishing The Art Forger, by B.A. Shapiro. It’s rare that a book keeps me up all night, but this one did. It was excellent, in my opinion. Without giving anything away, I can tell you that it is about what the title says it’s about.

the-art-forgerI can also tell you that it is fascinating, educational (but not in a dry way), mysterious, and character- and incident-driven. The protagonist is an artist with an intriguing past, artfully revealed little by little, and her evolving present is just as engrossing. I’ve read books where you are forced to go back and forth between the past and the present and different perspectives, and the flow becomes disappointingly disrupted. That doesn’t happen here. This author has a gift for segueing from one time or person to another.

Another book I read awhile ago was The Girl on the Train, by Paulathe-girl-on-the-train Hawkins. Today I saw the movie based on the book and it was spellbinding. There were moments in the story that were so tense that the audience collectively held its breath. I remember thinking, when I finished the book, that it was okay. It was better than the book it was compared to, Gone Girl (by Gillian Flynn), though, because while Gone Girl was remarkable for being so dark and unpredictable, the characters were sociopaths. The characters in The Girl on the Train—while far from ordinary—were relatable. And Emily Blunt was fabulous. Long story-short: See The Girl on the Train and read The Art Forger (if you haven’t already; both books were best sellers and people are turning out in droves for the movie). You will thank me. I accept gift cards.

I usually try to make my readers laugh, at least once, when I compose a post. I apologize for not even trying this time. I guess artsy-fartsy me isn’t especially funny. I’ll make sure to limit her appearances in this blog.

Free (and worth it!) Advice to Self-Published Authors

In Books, libraries, Self-Published Books on July 12, 2016 at 6:38 pm

Being the genius Being fairly adequate at marketing self-promotion, it occurred to me that if I had self-published a book, I would offer it to my local library, and to every library that responded to my inquiry emails, for free. Most self-published-authors (known as SPAs in my head) all-too-soon discover that, once their relatives and friends buy their books, their selling days are over. In fact, they will probably never sell another copy ever again. That’s what marketing departments are for, and most SPAs don’t have one.

If SPAs gave their books to as many libraries as possible, however, they might at least find readers, albeit cheap ones. Once an SPA has acknowledged that he or she isn’t going to get rich from a book, he or she will settle for readers, of any ilk.

I was on my local library’s website last night, perusing their digital library. The inventory was sparse and consisted mostly of books with lurid covers, i.e., bodice-rippers*. (A lot of SPAs write bodice-rippers. I know this from experience. At one time in my life, I had a website dedicated to self-published books [yes, I called them SPBs; amazingly, the word didn’t catch on] and the majority of the books submitted to me were bodice-rippers, followed by self-help books written mostly by people with no credentials.)

But, last night, I wasn’t in the mood for a bodice-ripper, so my choices were severely limited. But why, I wondered, was my library’s inventory so heavily weighted toward this type of romance novel? And then it hit me. I’ll bet the authors gave the library their self-published books. But then the question was: Why would a library download an unsolicited, and probably unreviewed, book and upload it to its website for borrowing? The answer was obvious: Because, as soon as everyone and his/her brother/sister/friend got a Kindle or the Kindle app, libraries needed to build digital libraries, and do it fast. Library bosses probably came in one morning and told their librarians, “I want a big digital library and I want it yesterday.” (Library bosses are so behind when it comes to the latest expressions.) So, in order to keep their jobs, the librarians probably downloaded every book link that was emailed to them. The next day, they had hundreds of e-books (out of millions of available ones, probably) ready for their patrons to borrow. And, they were mostly bodice-rippers. Because that’s what the librarians had immediate access to.

So, SPAs, get a move on. Send your book to your local library today. And to every library on the planet. Some librarian somewhere is bound to have a boss who is saying right now, “Our digital library is languishing! Get more books uploaded, and do it yesterday.” And whose book will be sitting on the library’s computer, just waiting to be uploaded? Yours. You’re welcome.

 

* books similar to those published by Harlequin

 

 

Calliope, Clio, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia, Urania … and Nora?

In Books, Humor, Writing on August 13, 2013 at 11:39 pm

I just finished a book, Murder Me Now, by Annette Meyers, about a bohemian flapper poet/detective, Olivia Brown. When Olivia isn’t detecting (or drinking gin in Greenwich Village speak-easies), she composes poems which she later recites to her adoring fans. And her fans are legion. People stop her on the street, halt their conversations on trains, and line up for hours outside a venue at which she is scheduled to appear, just to hear her recite her work.

Between you and me, I find it hard to believe that poetry was ever that esteemed, even a century ago. Poetry confuses me. But, I don’t think most poets know what they’re writing about anyway, so I’ve never worried about my lack of insight into a poem’s meaning.

Olivia, however, is no regular poet/detective. She has a muse, whom she creatively calls “Muse.” When she feels a poem upon her, she only has to sit at her desk and ask Muse for inspiration. Nine times out of ten, Muse puts all of the poem’s words into Olivia’s head, in sonnet form. All that Olivia has to do is type.

I’m no stranger to muses. I’ve been known to ask deceased writers to a-muse me. Sometimes you’ll hear a person say that a living person is his muse, but the person talking is usually a man who has designs on the woman he calls his muse. As soon as their relationship fizzles out, he’s on to another muse.

I prefer a muse who is dead. You don’t have to meet for coffee or buy thank-you presents for spirit muses. If I could find a muse who would write my blog posts for me, instead of just inspiring me, that would be another plus in the muse’s favor.

My favorite form of writing is the humorous essay. When Erma Bombeck died, on my birthday, I took it as a sign that she was to be my muse. I asked her to inspire me and, for a while there, I thought she did. But I get the feeling that she didn’t find me funny enough to bother with, so she moved on.

I think that either David Sedaris or Dave Barry would be a perfect fit as my muse, but they’re still alive, which rules them out … for now. In the meantime, the search continues, but I think I’m getting close to finding myself a muse.

It’s said that everything happens for a reason, so when my friend recently loaned me her copy of a Nora Ephron book of essays, I Feel Bad About My Neck, I took note. When I started reading, I had a eureka moment: “Eureka! I have found her!” I know, like I’ve never known anything before, that I would very much like Nora Ephron to be my muse. I would welcome her inspiration. I would really welcome her actually writing my blog posts, but I’ll work up to that request.

In the meantime, I have to get Nora to agree to take me on, which might be too much to ask of her. In fact, she’s probably appalled that I’m asking her to muse me at all — especially since I am incorrectly using the word “muse” as a verb meaning “inspire.”

In Nora’s lifetime, she was a talented, sophisticated, intelligent, witty, sardonic, and hilarious writer who was widely admired. Why would she lower herself to muse me?

The answer is: because I’m alive and she’s not. I can keep her voice alive during the rest of my lifetime. That reason alone might sway her. After all,  even though she died, I’m certain that she still has lots to say.

What do you say, Nora?

Brain Candy

In Books, Humor, Reading, Self-Published Books on December 14, 2011 at 4:11 pm

I’ve always been proud to call myself a reader. Smug, even. For some reason I still can’t fathom, when people refer to another as “a reader,” a hush falls over the room and everyone stares at the reader with admiration. I am a voracious reader of books, but considering that I read solely for entertainment and to escape from reality, I hardly deserve any approbation. Okay, reading has improved my vocabulary, but that’s the only benefit I can credit to the thousands of hours I’ve spent ignoring my family, and my ever-increasing laundry pile, to live vicariously through the characters in books.

Because being a reader is regarded as a noble thing, I can’t help but wonder why others proudly proclaim that they don’t read. Don’t do whatever you want in the privacy of your own home, but I would think it would be wiser to keep your non-activity private in a world where readers are revered.

Among readers, there’s a hierarchy. If you exclusively read nonfiction, then you’re considered an elite reader. Literary fiction is next, followed by other fiction, and the rest. There are many other categories, but I’m not going to try to think of them all for fear I’ll get side-tracked with categories, subcategories, genres, subgenres, etc.

Regarding my own reading habits, I  freely, yet sheepishly, admit that I ordinarily do not read nonfiction. I also don’t read to purposely learn anything. Whatever I inadvertently learn while reading seeps into my brain without any encouragement from me. That puts me, I shudder to acknowledge, on a par with someone who doesn’t read and only watches TV for entertainment. TV watchers who limit their viewing to political or learning channels fall higher on the Media Consumer Scale (which I just invented).

So, you ask, what am I trying to say, and why is it taking so many words to say it? What I’m saying is that books to me are brain candy: sweet and satisfying for the moment. I rarely recall what I read the day before and it’s even rarer for me to read a book that stays with me for days or weeks. Therefore, readers of my caliber do not deserve to be worshipped and adored by nonreaders, especially those who watch The History Channel or NOVA. (Worshipped and adored might be overstating the case, but permit me some hyperbole, since I know, from reading the word and then looking it up, what hyperbole means.)

To address the second part of your question, it is taking me so many words to make my case because I’m obfuscating the true purpose of this post: to promote my website, www.spbroundup.com, to all of the readers out there, regardless of where you fall on the Media Consumer Scale. My website is home to the works of self-published, or indie, authors. The quality of the books varies greatly, but so does the variety of topics. There are many fresh voices out there that, heretofore, were not heard—some deservedly. But there are many authors who have created quality works which deserve a look. So, do yourself a favor, and take a look. You’ll feel like a kid in a candy store.

 

Check out what indie authors have to offer at www.spbroundup.com.

Sticking it to the (Publishing) Man

In Books, Publishing, Self Publishing, Self-Published Books, Website, Writing on October 6, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Publishers used to be the last word in getting your book into print. Once you were rejected by one and all, you pretty much had to shelve your book and give up on it, or start over with a new book or a rewrite. People actually lived entire lives trying to get published and died trying. Now when publishers say, “No!” you can say “Oh, yeah?”

Your book’s future is in your hands now. Self-publishing your book may not have the cachet that a big (or small) publishing house’s backing does, but it does guarantee a reward for all of your hard work and dedication. After you sweat blood (or vodka) over the writing, rewriting and editing of your book, you know that you will eventually hold a completed, bound copy of your book in your hands–unlike the legions of authors who up until recently poured their hearts and souls into manuscripts only to have them, and their dreams, end up moldering in desk drawers. One guy I know said that when he received copies of his self-published book, he was so elated he could’ve cried. Before the advent of self-publishing, there was a lot of crying, but the tears didn’t stem from joy.

Once the elation of being a published author subsides, however, you are left with the monumental task of marketing your book. This is where having an established publisher comes in handy. Big publishers have departments that schedule author tours and advertise their authors’ books. You have none of that. But, if you think about it, even if your book were represented by a large publishing house, there’s no guarantee you’d get a lot of attention. Most of their money is spent on publicizing their best-selling authors. The rank-and-file authors don’t get much notice from their marketing departments. And if you were picked up by a smaller, more obscure publisher, they wouldn’t have the resources to promote your book in a big way, so, you’d probably be in the same boat you’re in now. So, forget about the big publishers’ big money and focus on your next step: marketing and selling your book.

By now, you’ve probably hit up all of your friends, relatives, coworkers and acquaintances to buy a copy of your book. You might even have blogged or tweeted about it or started a Facebook page for it. These are all drops in a bucket, but without drops, how do you expect to fill that bucket? Drops are essential. So here’s another one: List your self-published book on my new website, www.spbroundup.com. It stands for Self-Published Book Roundup, or maybe Self-Published Books Roundup. I’m not really sure; that’s why I used the abbreviation SPB. Anyway, email me the title of the book, your name or whatever name you used on the book, and a brief summary of the book, including the category or genre of the book. Also include contact information and a link, if any, to a site where the book can be purchased. Then tell people about the site. Blog about it, hang signs about it, tattoo the URL on your forearm, whatever it takes to get the site noticed. Of course your efforts will help my site and why should you do that? Because your book will be on it. And every time someone goes to the site, there is the potential for a sale for you. So we help each other. There’s no financial cost to you at all to have your book listed, so what are you waiting for?

Oh, you’re waiting to hear why I’m doing this? That’s simple. I want to stop commuting two hours each way to work. If the site becomes successful and attracts an advertiser or two, then I can stay home and maintain the site full time. I love to read, so helping you sell your books to other readers while I make a little money seems like a win-win proposition to me.

Okay, my cards are on the table. Now please put your cards–i.e., book–on my list. Send your entry to patsy@spbroundup.com. And if you like my site, please add a link to it on your site. And good luck to us all.

 

Check out what indie authors have to offer at www.spbroundup.com.

Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha

Musings and books from a grunty overthinker

The World Through My Glasses

Travel | Food | Photography

Alison Williams Writing

MAKE YOUR BOOK THE BEST IT CAN BE

Writing Slices

Reading the Books that Teach You to Write

Gabriele Romano

Personal Blog

Chuck Smith: Author, Blogger, Rambler

Truths, Half-Truths, and Lies

Little Fears

Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes

Pauls Pages Too

Extra Content from PaulsPages.com

Crazartt

Good things are going to happen@Mehakkhorana

Gareth Roberts

Unorthodox Marketing & Strategy

meganelizabethmorales

MANNERS MAKETH MAN, LOST BOYS FAN & PERPETAUL CREATIVITY.

Beautiful Life with Cancer

Discovering the Gift

A Wifes Reality

The things women don't and won't say about their past and present, true story.

Jamaica Homes

Jamaica Homes: Find Your Dream Property in Jamaica. Search Homes for Sale & Rent.

A Voice for Them

Love | Empathize | Care

My Blog

A fine WordPress.com site

Wonderful Cinema

Short reviews on high quality films. No spoilers.

this is... The Neighborhood

the Story within the Story

Playing Your Hand Right

Showing America how to Live

100 Shoes Blog

Style | Travel | Genuine Living

Chicks With Ticks

Our mission at Chicks with Ticks is to enlighten and empower those who work or play in the great outdoors by providing a source for information, inspiration, and practical help on how to enjoy, enhance, and survive any outdoor adventure.

mbove

Nice Golf Corpse Mysteries

So Far From Heaven

Too many reincarnations in a single lifetime to trust this one.

The Collected Wisdom OF Godfrey

He Was An Odd Young Man WHo DIsliked Beets

Harmony Books & Films, LLC

Tired of being ordinary, then here are some tips for becoming extraordinary.

Sally and David's amazing adventures

Tales of two (almost) virgin travellers

JANNAT007

Watch Your Thoughts; They Become Words

Aunt Beulah

living well to age well

The Bloggess

Like Mother Teresa, only better.

psychologistmimi

Food, Road Trips & Notes from the Non-Profit Underground

Dispatches from the Asylum

“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” ― Douglas Adams

ChompChomp

Food and Travel

I.A.

Cooking and More

Tripambitions

It contains the world best places and things.

Conundrum.

Dabbles in writing, loves music and nature. Sierra Leonean

Amber & Corde

A journey of expanding my dog's world

Frank Solanki

If you want to be a hero well just follow me