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bitcoins, computers, DNC, hackers, Humor, ransom notes, Russian hackers, Trend Micro

The New Kidnappers

In Computers, Humor on August 4, 2016 at 12:39 am

Remember the good old days when criminals hacked into your computer to steal your bank and personal information and they did it discreetly, so that you didn’t notice the theft for days, weeks, or years? You might never have noticed if you hadn’t received foreclosure notices for a house in Kentucky you didn’t know you owned, or if a repo guy didn’t show up to tow a car you never had.

Today’s criminals are gutsy. Not only do they hack into your computer, but they gloat about it, and then demand payment to return your files. Once you pay, what’s to stop them from doing it again? They can ride this money train into the cyberspace sunset.

Check out this email thread that my husband started yesterday on Facebook. His story is true.

8/2/2016

Frank (my husband): My desktop computer at work was hacked. I opened up an email and all of my files were encrypted. I rebooted and then a ransom note appeared saying I had three days to pay in bitcoin currency to get my files decrypted. How crazy is this? Our IT guy is on the case!

Karen E: Damn hackers!

Me: I wonder if modern computer kidnappers talk like old-school people-kidnappers?: “Vee hoff your computair. Send many bitcoin now.”

Art K: Isn’t Paul B an IT expert?????? He may need to be called into the case.

Paul B: Bummer Frank. If u send me the bitcoins I may be able to fix.

Ron B: Good luck Frank. I had the same thing happen to me. The hacker turned on my laptop camera and took a picture of me and threatened to turn over all the “dirt” he could dig up on me. I was able to power down for a day then put a paper clip in the reset button and most of my files were saved. I’m sure there’s a better way but I’m no computer geek.

Me: Did you see “Burn After Reading”? Maybe they were going to give it to the Russians. Haha.

Ron B: Once I knew it was a scam, it was actually hysterical. It had a picture of Pres. Obama saluting the flag and authorizing that I pay the money. The only part that was not hysterical was that I did lose some files and lots of pictures.

Leo C: It was the DNC.

8/3/2016

UPDATE: I’ve received a ransom amount: $287.09. My IT person says the Russians are definitely behind all the hacking done in the U.S. Hey Comrade Hacker, I am not paying a single cent to you. I don’t negotiate with terrorists!

Dano P: Search for the Trend Micro ransomware removal and decryption tools.

Frank: Yeah, my IT guy just added that and he just told me that my backup drive was encrypted as well! This sucks!!!

Dano P: Send bitcoin to ComradeArrakis@TheBigQ.net.

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Australians, casinos, dinner parties, Humor, Summer, working from home

A Summer Dinner Party

In Humor, Summer on August 2, 2016 at 9:47 pm

I’m working in my office on the second floor of our house and the windows next to my desk are open. It’s 9:30 p.m. My next-door neighbor has been having a dinner party on her deck for the last few hours. She’s well into her eighties. So are some of her guests. Judging from their voices, there are also some people there who are middle-aged. One of the men has an Australian accent. There is also a young man who is 21. I know this because I heard them trying to figure out how old he was in 2004, when some event they were discussing occurred. One woman said he was ten, but then someone else said that he was only nine because he was born in November and it wasn’t November yet.

Initially, I closed my windows, but it got stuffy so I opened them again. It’s enjoyable to hear them having a good time outside. Summer is so fleeting and outdoor parties are wonderful, even if you’re only eavesdropping on them. I keep getting drawn into listening to their conversations. I caught myself several times before I yelled a comment out the window. My work, needless to say, is going very slowly.

One woman is loud, with a capital L. One man talks over everyone else. The Australian, sadly, doesn’t talk much. It’s a treat when he pipes up with a comment in that sexy accent. Oooh, he’s talking now. I can’t hear what he’s saying, but how he’s saying it is enchanting.

So far, they’ve discussed everything from how to convert Celsius into Fahrenheit, the 2016 presidential election, the song, “Hot Legs,” Warren Zevon, YouTube, casinos, and wearing war paint as kids. The conversation topics change quickly, as they do at parties. Occasionally, the loud woman yells out, “Woo-Hoo!” or “Loser!” and then cackles demonically. One man announced that he’s having a “Casino Night” at his house. I wish I could go, but I’m busy that night.

It’s dark now and the party continues. The loud woman is now, for some reason, talking in a stage whisper. It sounds like there are several different conversations going on at once. It’s hard to concentrate. I guess I might as well get back to work.

I have to say that I really enjoyed this summer deck party. Summer deck parties beat winter indoor parties any day. Even if you’re an uninvited guest.

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afterlife, Atheism, Catholicism, Facebook, Humor, Jesus, Judaism, memes, religion

Welcome to My Mansion

In Humor, Religion on July 30, 2016 at 12:09 am

Before I go and insult an entire religion and the opposite of an entire religion, let me first say that some of the finest people I know are, or probably are, Jews and Atheists. I said “probably,” because I have met many people over my lifetime, so by the law of averages, some would have to be Jewish and some would have to be Atheists. The others would have to be other religions. I don’t generally meet someone and ask his or her religion (at least not since I moved from the Midwest), so if you’re not my friend or a member of my church, I probably don’t know what faith you are or aren’t. However, it is likely that I know your ethnic background; that’s what interests people in the Northeast U.S.

But, I’m getting off-course here. What I am trying to say is that there are good people of all religions and non-religions. I do have friends and relatives who are Jewish. I also have friends and relatives who are Atheists. However, they’re probably really Agnostics, because if God were to suddenly appear in the passenger seats of their cars, they’d probably yell, “Oh my God,” and mean it, and then crash into a tree.

Before I crash into a tree with this blog post, I will get back on track. It’s just that I needed to use a lot of words to reassure everyone that I have nothing against Jews and Atheists. Well, except for one thing.

That one thing is: They’re complacent about their belief that this is it. They have no problem believing that their existence in this world is the beginning, the middle, and the end of them. As my close friend, Boz, who’s Jewish, said, “I’m fine with believing there’s no afterlife. It’s less complicated this way.”*

Well, I have a problem with this kind of thinking. What about payback? I want people who’ve done me wrong to pay. As I’ve aged and gained wisdom from Facebook memes, Nike ads, and church–where we’re reminded to love everyone, forgive everyone, and turn the other cheek (which cheek wasn’t specified), I’ve gotten better at not holding a grudge.

This is mainly because my memory is horrible and I can’t remember if I was offended or by whom. But if I do remember, I try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. And then, if I still think that the person was wrong, crass, insulting, offensive, or jerk-like, I think, “He’ll get his” or “She’ll get hers.” I need to believe that someone up there is keeping track of every infraction against me. I try not to think about the list with my name at the top, however.

I also need to believe that my good deeds are being recorded, as well. My hope is that they’ll outnumber my negative actions and that I’ll have a surplus to spend in Heaven. Jesus said that there were many mansions in Heaven.** I want to have enough celestial credit to buy a fabulous oceanfront mansion, on the right side of the Pearly Gate … but not too close to the entrance. I imagine it gets noisy over there.

Because I know that there is an afterlife, I also know that I’ll see everyone again, even if it’s going to come as a surprise to my Jewish and Atheist friends. They probably thought they’d seen the last of me.

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*I have a Jewish friend who said that her rabbi teaches that there is an afterlife. So, some Jewish people do believe that there’s more to come.

**Some experts interpret the word for “mansions” as “rooms.” I prefer the “mansions” translation. I do not want to spend my credit on a room.

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ironically, millennials, tee shirts

I’m So Hot, I’m Cool.

In Humor on July 23, 2016 at 11:31 pm

Ironically 2

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birds, cookouts, gardening, Humor, nature, Picnics, squirrels, Summer, tattoos, vegetable garden

The First Weekend of Summer

In cookouts, Humor, Summer on June 27, 2016 at 1:34 am

If you recall, a few weeks ago, I tried to sell giant hosta plants from my garden on an online garage-sale site, but the site’s administrator asked me to take down my post because my plants were not hosta, but garden-variety weeds. Several people I know asked why the site’s administrator cared if I was selling weeds, as long as they weren’t illegal ones.

I agreed with them, but I preferred not to look like a moron who thought giant weeds were hosta, so I took down the post and spent this Saturday ripping those plants up by the roots. Then today, my husband and I went to a backyard party hosted by our friends, a husband and wife we’ve known for years. While we were there, the husband showed me his very impressive vegetable garden. He was especially pleased with the progress that his rhubarb was making. I took a closer look at the rhubarb and realized that I might have just thrown out ten or fifteen of those plants. The rhubarb plants sure looked like my weeds. But then again, so did hosta. I’m glad that the plants are gone, though. This way, there’s no temptation to make a rhubarb pie that might turn out to be a weed pie.

After the garden tour, we went over to the screened-in deck, where a few of the younger guests were comparing their tattoos. Only one of the older people there had a tattoo — the rhubarb-growing husband. His tattoo was temporary, and was bought and applied by his wife. Temporary or not, his was the popular favorite.

Mike's tattoo

When we got home, I was inspired to check on my vegetable garden. I know that what I planted are actually vegetables because I bought seed packets and they were clearly marked with words and pictures. My vegetables aren’t showing any progress yet, but that’s to be expected since I just planted them a week ago.

The bird feeder, on the other hand, has seen lots of action. I have one of those square suet cages that you fill with a cake composed of congealed fat and seeds. There are small openings in the cage so that only birds can feed from it. Somebody didn’t tell the squirrels, though. For the past few mornings, they’ve been hanging upside down from the lattice fencing around our deck, grabbing the cage with their little squirrel hands, and demolishing the suet. I’ve refilled that cage three times so far this week.

Always the optimist, I also bought a cylindrical bird feeder that is guaranteed to attract finches, and a bag of bird seed. I don’t even know if Connecticut has finches, but since I wouldn’t recognize one anyway, any bird is welcome. Yesterday, I put the new feeder and the bag of seed on our picnic table out on the deck. Today, while we were at the party, my brother was at our house, and he said that he looked out the window and saw at least six squirrels romping on the table. The squirrels had poked holes in the bag and were gorging on the seeds and drunkenly tossing handfuls into the air. He politely told them to go away, and when they ignored him, he threw flip-flops at them until they left. Then he hid the seeds.

After relating this harrowing experience, he suggested that I consider washing down the table before our next cookout. I definitely will, with bleach. But things could have been worse. My next-door-neighbor regularly sees raccoons copulating in broad daylight on her picnic table. Washing that table wouldn’t be an option. I’d have to burn it.

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casual dressing, coffee, Dunkin Donuts, family, fashion, father and son, Humor, laziness, Mornings

What’s a Drive-Through?

In coffee, Humor on June 25, 2016 at 1:07 pm

My friend, Rosemary Bartlett, posted this on Facebook this morning.

“Stopped for coffee this morning. And see this…”

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chores, family, games, guessing games, Humor

House of Fun and Games

In family, Humor on June 4, 2016 at 1:38 pm

House of Fun and Games

My family and I try to add a little fun to every day.

We don’t squirt each other with the sink hose or give each other swirlies in the toilet, though. Our games are usually guessing games, and you never know when the game will be played, or by whom, so your guard is always up, which makes life exciting. Here are a few of the games that are enjoyed in our household:

Who Can Guess What’s Causing That Smell in the Refrigerator?

Who Can Ignore Whatever is Causing That Smell in the Refrigerator the Longest?

How Much Trash Will Fit in the Kitchen Trash Can Before There Are Coffee Grinds on The Floor?

Can We Use Up the New Roll of Paper Towels (or Toilet Paper) Before Someone Puts It in Its Holder?

Let’s Wait and See If the Laundry Folds Itself.

Let’s Wait and See if the Laundry Puts Itself Away.

How Many Newspapers Are Needed for the Pile to Touch the Ceiling?

How Long Will It Take for Someone to Put the Dishes in the Sink into the Dishwasher?

How Long Will Our Clean Clothes Last Until We Have to Do Laundry … or Start Smelling Funny?

How Much Dust Can Accumulate Before It’s Noticeable?

Does a Broom Work As Well as a Vacuum on Carpets?

If We Smell Fire, Should We Investigate or Just Assume the Smell is Coming from Outside?

What’s That Thing the Dog Brought In, and Should It Be Thrown Out or Returned to Its Family?

Is It More Time-Efficient to Clean Up Dog Poo in the Yard Every Time or All at Once?

How Many Drinking Glasses Can Be Left on Every Table in the House Before We Run Out?

How Long Will Fruit Flies Hover Over Rotten Fruit?

How Long Can The Toilet Seat Be Loose Before It Falls on the Floor, Along With the Person On It?

And Finally …

Are Food Expiration Dates Merely Suggestions?

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Friends, gardening, hosta, Humor, Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, virtual garage sales, virtual tag sales

My Brain Needs Pruning

In gardening, Humor on May 30, 2016 at 8:03 pm

Last night, my husband and I played board games at our friends’ house. I lost at Scrabble, but I sometimes win, so I was happy for the winner, sort of. When we played Trivial Pursuit (original edition), though, I was slaughtered. I knew some of the answers to the other players’ questions but rarely to my own. The two wedges I got in my pie were from answers that I pulled out of my … hat. I never even heard of the song, “Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte,” so guessing Patti Page as the singer was sheer luck.

The thing is, at one point in my life I knew that Khartoum was the capital of the Sudan, and that pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth were called “the seven deadly sins,” but not now. Now, my mind is so cluttered that I have a difficult time recalling what I need until the day after I need it, if ever.

But brain jam isn’t my only problem. My always-present unknowledge (my word, feel free to use it) is getting worse. Here is just one example: My town and the surrounding towns all have Facebook virtual tag sale sites (aka virtual garage sale sites). Because our hosta has reseeded itself and the plants are overtaking our yard, I decided to sell them all. They’re extremely healthy and some of the plants are enormous. You can pay a lot for plants from the garden stores, so I offered them for much less: $5 for a regular plant and $10 for a giant plant (with leaves that make the plant at least two feet in diameter). Once sold, I would dig up the plants that were purchased and deliver them to the buyer.

The only problem was that the administrator posted this under my listing: “Take this post down right now. These are weeds!”

Hosta 1.jpg Hosta 2.jpg Hosta 3.jpg