When I was growing up, my parents had a terrifying candleholder made out of cement. There were seven gnarled, gargoyley faces on it, each one representing a deadly (or cardinal) sin. The horrifying faces didn’t seem to personify anything in particular except evil, which, looking back, was probably the point.

Back then I couldn’t name the seven deadly sins (pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth) and didn’t think about them except when I had to dust that awful thing.

In our house of seven children, our parents stressed the gluttony and sloth sins, probably because they served their purposes when they were telling us to stop eating everything in sight, or to get off the couch and go outside and do something. I think I heard pride, greed, and envy mentioned a time or two, as well. Lust and wrath didn’t come up, as far I remember, probably because of how long it would take to explain those sins, which would delay getting us out of the house.

I was thinking about that candleholder today because I chose to sleep in late instead of getting up and renting a car. Our family car was in an accident on Tuesday, and the rental car place that our insurance company told us to use closes at noon on Saturday and isn’t open at all on Sunday. Getting up early wasn’t something I was willing to consider, it being a Saturday. Now I won’t have a car until Monday at the earliest. My son has a car I can use when he’s home, but, naturally, when I’ll need a car tomorrow to get to church, he’ll be at work.

The family car will be out of the auto body shop in about two weeks, so I’m going to have to rent a car at some point, preferably before my husband returns from the trip he’s on. He will not be able to comprehend why I didn’t rent a car right after the accident. But, that’s him. He does things when they need to be done. I take a nap.

Anyway, when I got up and realized it was 12:30 p.m. and I wasn’t going to have a car all weekend, I thought of that cement monstrosity. By sleeping in, I had probably committed several deadly sins. The sloth face was the most prominent in my mind. Not that I actually know which face was the sloth face.

I called my mother to ask her how she and my father could tell which face went with which sin. She said that the candleholder probably didn’t depict the seven deadly sins. She added that my father and she most likely told us that to scare us.

Now that nothing is as it seems, I’m fine with not having a car until Monday. If anyone asks why I wasn’t at Mass, I’ll blame my absence on lust or wrath. That should stop the questions.

I think this was it. In its online description (link attached to photo), it is called the Seven Deadly Sins (are you still messing with me, Mom?) and it’s made of chalkware (which, as a child, looked like cement to me). It’s called a pipe rack. In other online postings, however, it’s listed as a candleholder and/or pipe rack.