Patsy Porco

Posts Tagged ‘eBay’

A Not-So-Special Present

In Humor on February 19, 2018 at 2:03 am

Yesterday, I wrote about a beautiful vintage quilt that I had found on eBay, which I had bought and sent to my cousin for her birthday. I said that I knew she’d appreciate its uniqueness. I bragged about my ability to spot handmade objects and appreciate the fine workmanship and skills that went into creating them.

Well, it turns out that the quilt isn’t quite one-of-a-kind after all. First, I got a message from a friend that she has the same quilt and she loves it. What?

Then, I went back to eBay and discovered that the same quilt is on sale again by the same seller. It’s a little bigger than the one I bought, but that is the only difference. The seller even used the exact same wording and photographs to describe this quilt as she did for the one I purchased. And, she is still tugging on heartstrings by saying that she is selling off her quilts to buy hay for her beautiful Arabian horses.

I felt like one of her horses had kicked me in the gut. I emailed her about my cousin’s quilt and she said that she “suspected” that the quilt was machine-made, and, regarding the almost-identical quilt that she is currently auctioning, she just happened to find it at a “trade days” in Canton, Texas. What a lucky coincidence! Hmmmm.

I went back and read her original description of the quilt I had bought. My imagination must have supplied the words, “unique,” “handmade,” and “hand-quilted,” because they didn’t appear in the text of her ad. Only “vintage” appeared, and in eBay vernacular, that means “used,” which is not special at all.

In my defense, I had typed in “vintage handmade quilts” in the eBay search bar, so I expected to only see quilts that matched my key words. I had also looked at hundreds of quilts before choosing this one, so my brain was probably patchwork at the time I placed my quilt order.

But the worst part of this is that I was fooled … by myself, no less. I had let myself believe that I could spot quality workmanship. I had given credit, in my head, to some anonymous woman who had labored for years on this quilt, working on it through good times and bad, through laughter and tears. I had imbued this quilt with a history that it never had. The only truth about this quilt was that it was laundered by the seller and hung in the east Texas sunshine to dry.

Please let that, at least, be true.

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Photo credit: Melissa M. Stearn 2/18/2018

A Very Special Present

In Daily Prompt: Present, Humor on February 18, 2018 at 2:25 pm

via Daily Prompt: Present

I am waiting to hear from my cousin. I sent her a birthday present for her significant birthday. The number can’t be named, just like Voldemort in the Harry Potter books.

Anyway, I sent her a vintage, hand-sewn, hand-embroidered quilt, made in the double wedding ring pattern. I know she will appreciate the meticulous handiwork that went into making it.

I bought the quilt on eBay. It was sold by a woman who, for some reason, has a hoard of handmade, vintage quilts and is selling them off to buy hay for her Arabian horses. In the descriptions of her quilts, she assures potential buyers that they are in pristine condition, washed by her, and dried in the eastern Texas sunshine. Eastern Texas sunshine must add value, or magic, or something you can’t get elsewhere.

My cousin will love the vintage aspect of the quilt. Our mothers, who are sisters, taught us to recognize and appreciate the quality work and materials, as well as the finely honed skills, that went into making objects before mass production became the norm. For us, discovering one-of-a-kind items gives us a thrill. So, I’m not worried about my cousin. It’s her husband who worries me.

I don’t know if he will allow an old quilt, no matter how beautiful it is, to be put on their bed. He might, rightly, wonder what else is in that quilt besides eastern Texas sunshine. Who knows what could have crawled between the seams as it hung on a clothes line in a field filled with wildflowers swaying gently in the breeze?

Actually, it might not have hung in a field at all. All that was guaranteed was that it was dried in the sun. It could very well have hung on a rusty hook in a dirty, smelly barn that is missing its roof.

I hope their dog enjoys her new quilt.

 

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Lysol and Holy Water

In Humor on February 16, 2013 at 12:28 am

I know it’s not popular to believe in evil spirits, but I do. I just think it’s strange that, back in Jesus’ day, he and his apostles spent a good amount of time casting out evil spirits. Once the demon spirits were expelled, the cured people were good as new.

So, why would evil spirits just suddenly go away? In my opinion, they didn’t. They just went out of fashion. When society stopped believing in them, they didn’t close up shop. They were busier than ever but, once they became passé, they were able to operate under the radar, ignored and blameless. Now, when people were evil or acted crazy, they were labeled as “unstable”—instead of as “possessed.” I imagine that when the demons were given their free pass, they had a hell of a party.

This all relates, of course, to my recent outing on eBay. All winter long, I had been looking for a nice pair of black leather riding boots with a small stacked heel. Because I only shop at Marshalls and TJ Maxx—along with the rest of humanity—pickings were scarce. Either the heels were sky-high or the prices were, which was surprising considering where I was shopping.

By February, I still didn’t have a pair of black boots, so I decided to risk catching plantar warts and buy a gently used pair on eBay. I figured my chances of contracting warts were slim if I sprayed the inside of the boots with Lysol. Anyway, I found the boots I was looking for, won the bidding war, and paid considerably less (including shipping) than I would have at my usual hunting grounds. Once I paid for them, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to take a look at handbags.

Four successful auctions later, I was the proud owner of one new evening bag and three previously owned leather purses.  I got excellent deals on the bags (including shipping); however, I still wasn’t shocked at my husband’s vehement (read “loud”) request that I “get off eBay right now.”

I always confess everything to my husband. Even if I plan in advance to go overboard with whatever I’m doing, I also know that I’m going to tell him what I did, to relieve my guilt. Knowing about my future confession keeps me in check. Kind of.

I told one of my sisters about my purchases and she said, “Ewwww. How can you wear boots, or carry a bag that was owned by someone else?”

“I’m going to wipe down the boots and bags with Lysol wipes and spray their insides with Lysol spray. They’ll be germ-free once I’m done,” I said.

“But they could have bad juju,” she said.

“Juju”? I asked.

“You know, evil spirits or bad auras, or something.”

“Huh,” I said. That was a new one. “Well then, once I clean them, I’ll sprinkle everything,  inside and out, with holy water.”

“That might work,” she said. “Hey!” she added, “I think you just invented the next generation of cleaners—ones that get rid of germs and bad juju.”

“Wow,” I said. “You might be right. But, we’ll need to find a new word for juju.”

“Why?” she asked. “Nobody believes in evil spirits, but juju is a commonly accepted thing.”

I can’t help but wonder what kind of people she hangs out with.

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