Patsy Porco

Posts Tagged ‘God’

May We Have a List, God?

In COVID-19, Humor, Racism on June 1, 2020 at 3:06 pm

“Oh great,” I called out to my brother, Gus, who was in his bedroom down the hall from my office. He’s been staying with us during the COVID-19 pandemic.

“What?”

“Now there’s an Ebola epidemic in the Congo,” I said. “If people start flying again, we’ll probably have Ebola in the U.S. within six months.”

“I would hope that the airlines would take precautions before allowing people from the Congo to get on a plane,” Gus said.

“I think they’ll be very cautious with this epidemic, ” I said.

“I hope so,” Gus said. “But I’m wearing a mask for the rest of my life.”

I laughed. “I’ll start making you face masks featuring bands from the 1980s, then.”

That got a chuckle from Gus. But he didn’t say no to my offer. Gus loves his 80s bands.

“But, seriously, these are scary times we’re living in,” I said. “COVID, rioting in the streets over the murder of George Floyd, systemic racism and sexism in our society, people shooting up schools and businesses, the opioid epidemic, an increase in mental illness, and now Ebola. God is definitely sending us a message.”

“But what is the message?” Gus asked.

“We need to change,” I said.

“Change what?” Gus asked. “Change everything, I guess. But what in particular is God telling us to do differently?”

“I’ll need to think about this,” I said. “I’m not good at giving well-thought-out responses off-the-cuff. But, I do think God is telling us something.”

“I agree,” Gus said, “But at this point, we are going to need instructions.”

See Ya, 2017

In 2018, Humor on December 31, 2017 at 6:15 pm

It’s the last day of the year, so it’s either time to say, “Thank God that 2017 is nearly over!” or “2017 was a great year!” Everyone, however, can say, “I hope 2018 is a wonderful year.” There’s no judgment implied in that declaration, so God or the universe won’t be tempted to jinx you from day one.

I used to think that “the universe” was a PC way of saying “God,” but they could be separate entities. I can see the powers of evil in the universe jinxing you just for fun, but I think God just sits back and lets us mess up our lives on our own.

I’m happy to see 2017 go, but it ended pretty well for me and my family, despite the occasional curveball thrown throughout the year. There are inklings of good things occurring in 2018 (knock wood, universe!) so I’m curious to see if they’ll pan out. There are also indications that not-so-good things could happen (God forbid, universe!), but I’m not going to think about them.

I remember thinking, as a child, that life didn’t make sense. “You learn it all and then you die,” I thought. I didn’t realize that that was the whole point of life. You make mistakes, learn lessons, do jobs, and then, one day, you’re done. It basically comes down to: Was I a good person? Did I love my neighbor? If I had worn my lucky socks to bed every night during 2017, would the Yankees have made it to the World Series?

Happy New Year everyone! May 2018 be a great year for you, and may the evil in the universe stay the hell out of your way.

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I Owe You What?

In Catholics, Humor, Religion on March 26, 2013 at 4:34 pm

Catholics often equate their burdens with Jesus’ carrying of his cross. We all know that anything we’re suffering can’t compare with His suffering, but we still call long-term physical or emotional struggles “our crosses to bear.”

I was recently talking to an older woman about her depression and the cause of it. Neither one of us had a solution, so I lamely suggested that she should consider the problem as a cross she had to bear.

She responded that she had lived a long life, and had borne many, many crosses. “When I get to Heaven, after I pay God what I owe him, I’m going to expect change.”

I hope God has a cash box.

 

 

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