I have a sore throat and persistent cough. Back in the pre-pandemic days, I would’ve taken Theraflu and forgotten about my symptoms for four hours until they returned and it was time to re-medicate.
But this is the pandemic era, so I took a COVID-19 test. I mean, why not? The government sent me a bunch of free tests and they’re going to expire eventually, so why waste them? I was kind of hoping I had COVID. It sounds so much more impressive to say “I have COVID,” than to say, “I have a cold.”
So, I swabbed my nostrils and followed the directions on the package and 20 minutes later, I didn’t have COVID. I didn’t have it before the test confirmed my negative result, either, but at least there was hope.
Waiting for the results wasn’t as nerve-wracking as waiting for the results from a pregnancy test, though. I was watching Bridgerton while my nasal sample stewed in the solution and I totally forgot about the test until the timer went off. I was disappointed for a second when I saw the one line on the stick indicating I was COVID-free, but then I got over it and returned to the show.
Two years ago, I would have been relieved to get a negative result. But two years ago, nobody knew if COVID was going to kill them, so it was a different time. Now, it’s pretty common to have only cold-like symptoms if you get the virus, as long as you’ve been vaccinated and boostered like I have.
Everybody I know has had COVID except for me. I feel like I wasn’t invited to a not-exclusive party, which is even worse than being excluded from a party for a few select guests.
Oh well, there’s always another plague on the horizon. I’m not missing that one … once I’ve been vaccinated and boostered, of course. I don’t want a horrible illness. But, I do want bragging rights.
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